Reflection can be a healthy thing, so having been a barperson for more years than I care to remember, I bumped into a little interview on some website out there in webland prompting some memories and laughs. I suppose a train ticket person, cabbie or nurse could write something similar about the public, en mass, love’em. So, here’s my Anglo version, with minor adjustment made for cultural differences… Certain bars, they take no prisoners.
1. If I cut you off (stop serving you promptly, or stop serving you completely), don’t argue. If anything, you should apologise if you’ve made a scene.
2. The more you make out with your date, the closer you are to being cut off.
3. Cheer up love, Over here, or the like, doesn’t get your beer to you faster, on a busy night! A smile, charm and wit will help, not with me, but those around you.
4. Think tending bar isn’t a real career? You’re wrong. The craft of bartending is back.
5. If it’s not busy, ask me about the history of the drink, I love sharing what I know, and you’ll learn something new.
6. You’ll win points with me if you know what you want, and drink something interesting…
7. I can tell if your date is going well or not, and I notice if you bring in a new date every week.
8. Everyone should bartend a few nights in his/her life. You learn so much about people.
9. From female colleagues, If you’re going to hit on me all night, at least leave a big tip.
10. The songs you line up on the jukebox will play right as you’re leaving.
11. I love being your psychiatrist-matchmaker-entertainer-friend. Otherwise, I wouldn’t tend bar.
12. Please, take a taxi, bus or train.
The strange thing is, I wish a few barstaff would read this….